Particularly at the beginning, I was feeling intensely homesick and missed all of my friends so dearly. It is genuinely shocking to go from so consistently being around loved ones to being entirely by yourself. That is one part of this experience that I will not glamorize. It is difficult in every way to be away from those who mean the most, but I have still tried to find the silver lining in this. It has allowed me to appreciate the way my friends and family make my life so rich by virtue of noticing particular absences. At the beginning of this experience, I was facetiming my parents more regularly than I ever have in my life. In many ways, I felt that this vulnerable period of needing support allowed people at home to show up for me in new ways. The kind words, encouragement and advice people have given me over the phone have meant so much to me during this time. Another challenge in this experience is that this is the first time that I have ever lived completely alone. It is both liberating and lonely to have such a space completely to myself. In the past, even when I had roommates I didn't like, there was some shared sense of identity. We were in the same phase of life, and by virtue of spending day in and day out in our apartments, we breathed life into those apartments. There was also a division of responsibilities, whereas now every detail lands only upon my shoulders. In order to make the place feel more like a home, I introduced myself to the neighbors that live a floor below me. In one apartment lives an older couple, and in another lives an elderly woman. On separate days early on, I showed up at their respective doors with mithai (sweets). Since then, they both have invited me over, and I feel happy when I see them.
