On one hand, I knew how fun a loud, chatty lunch could be. On the other hand, I was new to the institute. If everyone enjoyed a quiet lunch together, I didn’t want to disturb the peace. And not only am I new to the institute, I’m new to the country. I had heard that Germans are fairly private in comparison to Americans, so I was afraid of offending someone by asking a question that seemed appropriate to me, but might be too personal for them. I also didn’t want to talk too much about myself and end up oversharing and appearing unprofessional. This went on for a few weeks. I started to get more comfortable staying quiet, but I was still missing the communal atmosphere that I was used to experiencing with my colleagues. Then, one day, there was a new scientist at lunch. She introduced herself as a new professor at the institute, and her presence completely changed the mood. She kept up chitchat throughout lunch, talking about her research, her experiences moving back to Germany, since she’s German, but has spent the past few years working in the U.S. and Ireland, and asking everyone else about themselves. The other astronomers, who I’d figured cherished their peaceful lunchtime, brightened at the new professor’s energy. At lunch that day, I was much more comfortable and I got to hear a lot about the new professor and the other scientists. The next day, I figured that I would try following the new professor’s lead. I started asking questions about the history of the institute, and everyone’s experiences there. It turned out, once I got people chatting, the other scientists were happy to share their perspectives and bounce their ideas off one another. Since then, I’ve been keeping an eye out for ways that I can connect with more people at the institute.
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