I was talking to an American friend about the differences between living in the United States and Finland. Some things were silly, like how the showers are different, and how hard it is to find food in the supermarket when we cannot understand the labels. We also talked about more serious struggles, like how difficult it can be to get to know people. Finns are very private, and very respectful of other people's personal space. For Finns, this kind of behavior is meant to show respect and to be polite; but as an American, this treatment can also feel very isolating. As we talked, my friend said, "Americans are like peaches, Finns are like coconuts."
She explained that, "Americans are soft and sweet on the outside. It is easy to feel welcome in a group of Americans. But when you get to the center, to the heart, we can be pretty tough and private. Finns, on the other hand, have tough exteriors: they do not open up easily, and it is difficult to feel welcome in a group. But once you are in, they are very sweet. If a Finn agrees to be your friend, they are amazingly loyal."
The more I thought about this, the more I could see what she meant. When I first came to Finland, I was nervous about asking whether possible new friends wanted to get together with me.
